All day yesterday I wrote things in my notebook that I jot down my thoughts/squirrel moments in. Thoughts and moments from the weekend, bits of encouragement I received – to conversations and events that really jumbled my brain up.
I am very squirrel-ish in this post because I am not quite focused, so beware.
The original post was going to be about my “time management skills” or should we say lack there of. But after a few occurrences and conversations the last couple days, I think I am even more confused. Originally I was going into this post yesterday morning, angry. Angry that I get so much grief for not being around all the time, not making it to every event and just getting guilt trips constantly. Getting that grief time after time eventually takes a toll. Especially when you try to make it all work. It makes you want to turn into a hermit and stay home on your couch, phone off and watch Real Housewives of Orange County all day.
Well, I don’t want to turn into a hermit. And as much as I love a good, bitchy, shiz talking Real Housewives episode – I don’t want to spend my days that way.
So my outlook was immediately…either you get it, or you don’t. Either you understand that people have busy lives (especially when trying to focus on their own health and well being) or you don’t. Either your still my friend, family member, whoever…or not.
Then a close family member that has been in and out of the hospital said to me this weekend “You appreciate life so much more” So that stuck with me and made my mind shift the other way. Should I run my ass to Timbuktu and back constantly to make everyone else’s schedule work all the time? Be a convenience almost so I never miss out?
That same night, another extremely close family member said something that got me too. “I just wish you would focus on you. Stop doing it for everyone else and do something for yourself. Focus on this lifestyle change.”
So that is where I am at. A lot of people have this same problem. Always feeling like your stuck between a rock and hard place. Never knowing if those people would run to Timbuktu and back for you.
Experiencing a life literally being gone in what seemed like a snap of a finger, my thoughts jumbled even more (if that’s even possible).
It is time to have a mind set of a phrase I absolutely can’t stand. “YOLO”. You only live once. But it’s true. Or my personal fav…”Hakuna Matata”.
That to me means it’s time to start doing what we want. I feel so selfish writing that. But it is what it is. Time to do the things I want. Be surrounded with people that do care, not brush me off to the side when convenient. Focus on this lifestyle change and really step out of my comfort zone. Hello bucket list.
So I challenge you too. To try and make the most out of the rest of 2013, 2014 and beyond. Make time for you.