The bit of inspiration has changed a bit…
In the beginning, this blog was about what I wanted my appearance to be. But now it is so so much more.
I ran across a text from my dad this weekend that was back from January of this year saying:
"This is the year you are going to start to fly, great things are going to happen for you"
This text was sent before receiving important scan results. He wasn't worried about the pancreatic cancer he was fighting. He was worried about his 28 year old daughter who was juggling just buying a new home by herself, debating on making a huge career change and coping with the fact that one day within that year she would lose her very best bud, her dad. When I realized the severity of what he was diagnosed with I hurried up and bought a home (most expensive distraction EVER but it made him so happy) made a complete career change because he wanted to see me happy (best decision I've ever made, besides getting Bails) and got my pup, Bailey (you will probably see a million pics and feel like you know my little nugget) . While all of these great things happened, I obsessed over those things that he wouldn't see (me get married, my kids, etc) I obsessed over it so much that my positivity started fading away and I let go of fitness goals and many other things.
I also had started to lose my faith and I am proud to say my dad never lost his. I am also working on fully trusting god again and building my faith again.
We lost dad a little over a month ago on July 15th. It has been unbelievably hard. I can't put into words what or how I feel. Watching the Nat's isn't the same, I have accidentally called him when things have broken in my home and geeze, does that make it start to sink in. I have an empty, weird feeling yet I also have this new feeling that the things I do in life matter more, there is meaning again and I think my dad 100% has instilled that in me again somehow. My family is stronger than ever. We are sad but we have somehow grown closer which is what he would have wanted. I care more about having positive energy around me and giving it off to others. I finally want what is best for myself and want to give everyone my best self. He wanted me to write again (he always read my blog posts before I published them) take interest in photography, and mainly not be so hard on myself so those are my mini goals/accomplishments now. * Celebrate Small Victories *
My big goal is to get to my best self by thirty and keeping it that way. 333 days from today! Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and professionally – the whole package.
This blog is not just for myself. I never wrote on here for any kind of attention (who wants the world to know that you really do drink an unbelievable amount of wine and have a hard time hitting your fitness goals) This is to help anyone who needs to make a positive change, anyone going through their toughest loss, or anyone who just needs to feel like someone actually can relate to them. It is for the real life girl, with the real life body, that is going to kick ass, and take names to get to their goal – physically, mentally, emotionally or professionally.
We can do it together and if ya want, you can hear my goofy stories, tips and shigggles that come along with it 🙂
Ps. Check out the about me page, there have been some changes and I will be upgrading the site as well 🙂